as age creeps up on you,
there are many thoughts
which plaque your mind...
thoughts which would have otherwise
passed you by without so much
as a tease to the youthful mind.
perhaps.
regardless, the noise they make get louder
and you can't deny them that spare moment
or two for contemplation.
you worry about your metabolism - how you eat less,
exercise more, yet the weight keeps piling on.
you worry about your knee -
is it old age that stilettos are already messing up your bones,
you wonder.
then there are the scarier thoughts,
the ones which make you reflect on your life.
i wonder,
wonder about my successes in life.
i wonder if, god forbid,
i've passed my peak
and it goes downhill from here.
and the two horrific notions which traumatise me senseless?
1. i hit my peak and never realized it,
for it was too much of an anti-climax
2. i'm already on the decline
what if?
but it is not a lost cause.
the beauty of it is, even if youthful appearance
has precipitated, and my bones are creeking
abit more loudly than my old, mouldy cupboard...
it is still in my possession to affect change -
to do a little bit more
for myself,
for the people around me,
for the community
and ensure that, even if i don't,
holistically, achieve the utmost peak,
somewhere, somehow,
i'm still doing something good.
i'm still making a difference,
touching lives.
every. single. day.
except when i'm on a long haul leave;
like NOW. bleagh.